My thoughts and decisions during lock down.

During lock down things have been different to say the least.  I have done many things which have not been to the fore of my life for some time and some very new ventures.

I thought I would find Lent and Easter difficult it was, in fact, the opposite.  Different, but by no means difficult.  Until very recently I have only been able to join my own church for mass once or twice.  Thankfully, in my eyes, that sent me on a journey.  It would have been no problem to just switch to daily Mass in the States.  As it was II thought of priest friends and of churches I had visited over the years and not only went to Mass, I also had a trip down memory lane.  It was interesting to see churches managing to use technological even though there were problems.  I found myself on a Birmingham’s Virtual Pilgrimage embracing it wholeheartedly.  Enjoying the way people used resources available when their pilgrimage to Lourdes had to be cancelled.  Mass, with Benediction and Holy Hours to boot.  I also went on virtual walking tours of places such as Lourdes, Fatima Assisi and Rome visited long ago knowing I may not be able to journey there, perhaps, again.  I certainly would not be able to do that amount of walking again, nor had done in later years while there. 

I heard and said prayers, that had not been to the fore of my mind for years.  Obviously not forgotten but now they are back into use in my prayer life. I have visited Walsingham and the Divine Mercy Shrines almost daily since this lockdown started.  It had not occurred to me that to ask for God’s Mercy, by using the Divine Mercy Chaplet, was a to offer yourself for others.  Medjugorje had also played a part in my spiritual life and I have been watching clips of that too.

By praying both Divine Mercy and the Rosary (for our Diocesan Cursillo and the National Cursillo of England and Wales) I was asking God for help in breathing new life back into our Diocesan Cursillo communities.  I am now quite sure it was God leading me, Lay Director, aware that I was trying to “run the show” single handedly.  Then it crossed my mind, something I heard at the Adoremus Congress, when Bishop Barron said in his talk, “There were two plays in our lives the Theo Drama (God in Charge) and the Ego Drama (Us in charge).”  Instead of praying for God’s will I was praying that this or that would happen.  It was not “Your will be done”.  It was God give us the strength to do this, that or the other.  What a ‘wake up’ call I had!

I recently watched a You Tube item which also ‘woke me up’, where a priest talked of the Rosary being as powerful, if not more so, than a sword.  That was when I asked my fellow Cursillistas in the Diocese to pray at least one Rosary a week for the future of our Diocese, its Cursillo and Cursillo England and Wales.  We were asked a while ago by Canon Michael Leadbeater, our National Spiritual Director, to pray for our National Cursillo.  My request of Shrewsbury Cursillistas was to pray for the knowledge of God’s will for Our Diocese and England and Wales.  What better way of praying for our diocese, which is dedicated to Our Lady Help of Christians.

his is my prayer, “Lord give us the energy to do your will and enable me to step back and let you go first.”  Also, in asking Our Blessed Mother, through the Rosary, to pray for us and with us; I am sure we will be strengthened, and shown, shown how and where to plant the seeds of Cursillo.  Then they can Bloom where they are planted.

Joan Murdoch

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